Jealousy definition, types and causes

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Jealousy, now this is a word that strikes and stirs a lot of emotion. What could stir this emotion you may ask? Well, there are so many things that could stir this emotion up but the one common thing is an individual having something that another person desperately craves, wants and yearns for.  Just like every other emotion that is in existence, jealousy Isn’t a bad emotion, it only becomes bad when a person lets it control them to do bad things.

Jealousy is being envious of someone else who enjoys an advantage. Jealousy isn’t a bad emotion but when channelled to negativity it can be bitter, resentful, hostile and angry. Everybody at some point in their lives experience jealousy, it’s feeding it or letting it grow that becomes unhealthy.

Types of jealousy

There are many types and forms of jealousy but basically, they all fall into two categories, normal and abnormal jealousy. A few types of jealousy were described by a doctor, Dr. Gonzalez-Berrios, and these types of jealousy are:

  • Family jealousy: This occurs between family members, like siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles and sometimes amongst parents too. It typically happens when a family member gets something another family member wants too.
  • Rational jealousy: This happens between love partners, in this case there is a constant fear of losing inside one partner about losing the other, and the person always gets jealous when the partner starts having a bond with someone else.
  • Sexual jealousy: This happens between partners as one may be scared that the other partner has been unfaithful, and jealousy may sprout up from feeling incomplete and not good enough.
  • Romantic jealousy: This usually occurs in relationships, especially those who are desperate romantics and all they want is to be loved but they just never seem to find the right partner. They tend to get jealous of other people’s relationships that are prosperous and better than theirs.

How do I tell when someone is jealous of me?

Attitude, characters and behaviour in people differ, and what may seem like a person being jealous of you may actually not be. Human beings are dynamic and different so sometimes the person may not show signs or traits of jealousy but may be jealous, or the person may show it. But there’s this human tendency that people always show traits of jealousy when they’re jealous.

It’s pretty easy to figure or find out if a person is jealous of you, as the individual will be obsessive, a fault finder, a liar, blaming and in some cases verbally abusing. People are different so what may seem like jealousy traits could be the individual going through a phase. Give your research time, if the traits stay for a long time, then it could be jealousy.

The healthy aspect of jealousy

Yeah, jealousy isn’t so bad most times, and when channelled right it could be a good thing. Jealousy could be positive if channelled in a positive way such as, being the force that makes a relationship stronger, it could also be a reminder to cherish someone or something and it can also lead to priority changes in a good way.

How do I know when I’m jealous about something or someone?

Jealousy comes in different ways, but the most specific way it comes is when you see someone else receive what you really desire or want. It could sometimes leave you feeling depressed, angry, insecure or abandoned

Again, it’s not wrong to feel jealous as it is a human emotion too, but it needs to be controlled before it gets out of hand. Few ways to control jealousy could be talking to a loved one, notifying them of your feelings. Accepting the truth, no matter how painful it may be and moving on. You could also take a break to appreciate yourself and everything you’ve accomplished so far. There are different strokes for different folks. It doesn’t really matter how you control your jealousy, what matters is that you control it.

There are many ways to treat and avoid jealousy. The most important thing to note is that you may not get everything you want and things may not go as you want them too, but it’s totally fine.

Written by Dike Ijeoma

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